Bleeding Forehead in the dog days of summer

I had a big think this morning about whether or not I should expose some of the tougher aspects of this endeavor.

My inner voices, of course, are of two minds,

“Don’t scare them off ,” says Conservative-Me.

“It’s a better story if there are battles to win,” say Consequences-Be-Damned.

The story wins.

I failed my exam last night.  And it’s my own fault. I knew from the beginning it wasn’t going to go well.   The school even gave me the option of pulling out, but I thought, get the credit over-with. So, not only did I not, get the credit over-with,  I got an expensive lesson about story telling and my first ever academic failure.  From an Accounting class… this burns.

My problem was that I could not connect with the subject.  I didn’t care.  I couldn’t find a shred to hang from in the delivery.  I need that connection.  The teacher was bored, so I was bored.  And this, in fact, is the exact caution I am getting from my writing team.  You’re telling a story about a technology, this is difficult.  Make it human.  Give people a reason to care.  The scary part is that all I really have is my life and my experiences to share, and I can assure you, they are not all nice.

In that spirit, I have to say, that the successes with this project so far are many and I’m most impressed by how the readership of this blog has flourished beyond my wildest imagination.  After weeks and weeks of having just three loyal readers, and I’m pretty sure I know who you are, I can now boast about my views per month, especially with such an esoteric subject.

My challenges?  It’s just starting to sink in how long a haul this is going to be.  And I’m having second thoughts about exposing my life and my family.  And rejection is always tough, and this month there has been two big disappointments, the German APL conference committee doesn’t support the project and my first research grant application was rejected.  Ouch.

I’m hopeful about today, though, believe it or not.  Barry and  Ian will be her in three minutes for a story meeting!  Hooray!  We’re working on the script!!!!  AND I get to have dinner with Morten Kromberg AND Eric Iverson!

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2 Responses to “Bleeding Forehead in the dog days of summer”


  • Keep your chin up. Your blog is already the best source of APL history/gossip on the web. Your film will be well worth it in the end.

  • aprogramminglanguage aprogramminglanguage

    John – that means a lot, especially coming from you.

    Boy, did yesterday turn out well! I can’t even believe how cool it was to observe Morten and Eric doing their thing together. The Array languages are in transition again, on the move. It’s extraordinarily interesting to be in the middle of it.

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